Gifted: A Multiple-Choice Test

By Lindsay Sledge

Directions: Read each question and circle the best answer.

1. There are ten kids in Mrs. Roadman’s first-grade class. Four kids wear socks. Three kids wear sneakers. Two kids wear both. How many kids are barefoot? Think carefully before you answer. There are repercussions for too many correct answers at too early an age.

a. One day, you’re seven years old and giggling on the monkey bars with your best friend, Toshiba. Your teacher asks you to complete a special assessment after recess, and your eyes alight at the opportunity. You envision a class of children in socks and sneakers, calculate the equation, then circle the answer with confidence and ease.

b. The next day, you’re hugging your Barbie backpack on a bus full of strangers headed to a school for gifted kids.

c. You spend one day each week from second to fifth grade with kids that can multiply two and three-digit numbers in their heads. Kids that can recite the entire periodic table. Kids with unusual talents and abilities who learn that being ordinary is unacceptable.

d. Why settle for good when you could be great?

2. You take seven classes in eighth grade, three of which are at the high school level. At the end of the first quarter, you bring home a report card showing six A’s and one B. Your first B. How do you explain it to your parents?

a. After seven years on the gifted track, you make your first obvious mistake. But was it really a mistake to play MASH with Kaitlyn and Kelly in the back of Earth Science while Mrs. Simpson droned on about tectonic plates? If you hadn’t marked the preferred answers with your favorite blue gel pen, how would you know if you were destined to live in a mansion with Justin Timberlake or a shack with Carrot Top while working as a dentist?

b. This time, you don’t think carefully. You ball up your fists and raise your voice at your parents. “IT’S JUST A B!” you shout at their surprised faces. “DEAL WITH IT!”

c. The problem is you don’t mean it. You pivot away from their disappointed stares, stomp down the hallway, and collapse beneath a pile of textbooks and shame. For the next three quarters, you forgo MASH to achieve perfect grades. All the while, your teenage hormones teeter between pride and relief.

d. After all, you merely did what was expected. And what is expected is that you succeed.

3. Students must complete twenty-two standard and five verified credits to earn a high school diploma. At the end of junior year, you’ve exceeded the requirements and have a 4.12 GPA. What are your next steps?

a. The answer to this question may change the trajectory of your life. But you are smart. You are hardworking. You hardly hesitate.

b. Though there is an aching sensation in your chest when you imagine graduating early and missing senior year, you assure yourself you will not care when you’re so far ahead of your peers.

c. You wave goodbye to your classmates, pack your Beanie Babies into a box in the attic, and move to a university 730 miles away. You have no friends, no family, and no idea how to function outside of textbooks.

d. You are gifted, though, which means you will be okay.

4. The average student takes four years to complete college. You, however, are not average. College is expensive, you’ve racked up $30,000 in student loan debt, and your parents are pressuring you to once again graduate in three years. What decision do you make?

a. You are twenty years old with a full academic load and an unpaid internship.

b. You serve in the university’s student center weekdays from 6:00 a.m. to 8:00 a.m. to earn grocery money. You work at a local nonprofit from 4:00 p.m. until 9:00 p.m. to make gas and spending money for those rare free moments with friends.

c. Your grades consist entirely of A’s, though you have learned to accept an occasional A minus. You are confident that you will land your dream job when you graduate.

d. Those early elementary tests were accurate. You really are exceptional. You are definitely not on the verge of a mental breakdown.

5. The Great Recession starts in December 2007. Millions of Americans lose their jobs over the next two years. In May 2009, you graduate magna cum laude with a 3.93 GPA. The motto at your university is “From Here to Anywhere.” Where exactly is anywhere, and how do you get there?

a. You accept a solitary job offer at a local non-profit that pays $13 an hour and barely covers the rent. You sign a lease for a dingy apartment with carpet stains and dull beige paint, but it’s not so bad once you convince your good friend, Krista, to move in. You fill the space with a flimsy, second-hand couch and a tiny tube tv. There you make out with your boyfriend after work each day.

b. While your job is fulfilling, your Southern Baptist employer champions policies that make it harder to succeed as a woman. Nevertheless, three years in this position leads to your next role at a company where there is less discrimination. You simply have to bear the antics of upper management who cuss and drink like sailors.

c. You are tempted to dwell on the negatives until your boyfriend places a diamond ring on your finger. Then you exchange vows, move out of the crappy apartment, and into a two-bedroom splashed with yellow and blue paint. You sense that your luck is changing, so you take a chance and apply at one of the top companies in your field. After two months of interviews, they offer you a position that you eagerly take.

d. As the metrics predicted, your life is better than good. Your life, dear gifted child, is great.

6. You’re madly in love with your spouse and do everything together. You adopt a rescue dog, train for 10Ks, and contentedly consume ramen noodles to pay off your student loan debt. Then you splurge on a European vacation. After five years of marital bliss, you decide it’s time to welcome a baby. How do you handle the transition?

a. You plan an all-natural hospital birth where your son slides out easily and pain free. You read the recommended baby books and prepare to expertly handle both breastfeeding and sleep training. You fall even more in love with your spouse knowing that he too will be a perfect parent. Then, at 3:18 a.m., on a muggy August morning, your firstborn appears.

b. Despite meticulous note taking, your plans rip apart with the force of a nine-pound newborn tearing through your perineum. You leave the hospital with a colicky baby and a cracked nipple, soon to endure repeated bouts of mastitis and infant screeching. Since you are failing at motherhood, you resign from your dream job to perform better at home. Because good enough, as previously noted, will never be okay.

c. Your husband works more to compensate for you working less. Your days become a never-ending cycle of chaos and hysterics. Since you can’t yell at your baby, your temper turns toward your spouse. When a screaming match escalates into you chucking rubber baby balls at his head, you set up an appointment with a therapist.

d. The good news is that you are no longer on the brink of a mental breakdown. The bad news is that you are in the midst of full-blown postpartum depression.

7. It takes four months of counseling before your mental health and marriage are back on track. Around the same time, you celebrate your sixth wedding anniversary with a fancy dinner and makeup sex. A tested mathlete from the earliest of ages, you forgo protection since you’re past the fertile window. Why, then, are your jeans too tight two weeks later?

a. Pink lines pop up on the take-home test before the timer even dings. You take a second and a third test to be certain, and the results are the same.

b. Nine months later, you breathe in the scent of a squirmy infant nestled on your chest. Your husband peers over your shoulder while you help your baby find his first latch.

c. You have two kids under two, little time for books, and never enough sleep.

d. You are a fast learner, however, and finally choose to trust in your instincts.

8. Motherhood is not at all what you thought it would be. The hours are longer, the rewards less immediate, and recognition is non-existent. Without job promotions and report cards to provide proof of your efforts, how do you evaluate your days?

a. When your oldest learns his ABCs, you surprise him with a popsicle treat.

b. When your youngest takes his first steps, you catch the moment on video and text it to your extended family.

c. At some point, you teach both children to fall asleep promptly at 7 p.m. Your energy returns, along with a semblance of your former self, so you decide it’s time for baby number three.

d. Your life is far from easy, but you prefer it that way. You are an overachiever, from the earliest of ages, both born and made. Motherhood teaches you more than any textbook you’ve ever read. Embracing the goodness of the ordinary is what makes life great.

9. There are twenty kids in Mrs. Carlson’s kindergarten class. Eleven girls and nine boys, one of which is your oldest. At the start of the school year, the teacher sends home a questionnaire. Your eyes linger on question seven which asks how would you describe your child: gifted, average, or below average?

a. You contemplate scratching through the options and adding your own instead. Your son is kind, he’s creative. His laughter makes the world a brighter place.

b. You place your pen on the page and reluctantly circle an answer. Then you complete the assignment and continue through your day.

c. Whatever option you select, you are confident that your child will be okay.

d. Besides, if there’s anything you’ve learned from your schooling experience, it’s that there are far more important questions to consider.

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Guest essay written by

Lindsay Sledge

. Lindsay lives in Music City with her college sweetheart and three charismatic kids. She spends half of her week in car lanes, disappearing into magical worlds of fantasy fiction and drafting essays about everyday life. Her essays have appeared in Coffee + Crumbs, Her View From Home, and Kindred Magazine, along with others. You can read more of her writing on Substack or Instagram.

Photo by Jennifer Floyd.

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