I am imagining you on this first Saturday of December, possibly surrounded by shopping lists or half-addressed holiday cards, maybe a luke-warm coffee with peppermint creamer. I’m wondering whether you’re feeling a sense of childlike anticipation for these next few weeks, or if you’re staring down the full calendar with a grim resolve to do all the things no one else will think to do.
Maybe somewhere in between? Yeah, me too.
In the midst of holiday preparations, there’s usually a part of my mind that’s casting out to the other side of winter—the stark intensity of January, with all of its clean planner pages and possibilities. It’s not uncommon for me to spend a day or two in November reflecting on the year “gone by” and then begin regrouping for the year ahead. But this December, I’m finding myself moving at a slower pace, giving 2024 every last minute to finish revealing itself to me. It’s been an interesting year, full of gifts and challenges that I never saw coming.
Can burnout be a gift? Can failure be a kindness? In May, after weeks and weeks of overwhelm with work commitments and parenting while facing the worst back pain I’d ever experienced, I made my way into my family practice provider for a physical therapy referral. Within just a few minutes, she had arranged for a consultation with a physical therapist and then turned to discuss the form I’d completed in the hard plastic chair before my appointment. It was a mental health screening, and my scores had flagged me for a discussion about depression—another name for the existential overwhelm I’d been falling into intermittently for about 18 months. I had never considered the burnout I felt might have deepened into something more. I’d flown under the radar with my closest and most attentive relationships, even my therapist.
“Depression doesn’t look the same on everyone,” she told me. “I’d like you to consider trying some medication. When women follow up after six weeks, it’s common for them to tell me they didn’t realize how much they’d been white-knuckling their life.”
“Well, I won’t tell you that,” I said, feeling as though someone was finally offering me a life preserver. “I’m well aware.”
I guess you could say that 2024 was a year of trying new things. Within a few weeks, I could breathe again. I felt like myself. I could discern a comfortable distance, a slim and healthy margin, between me and the stressors in my life. I had a better understanding of which things were within my control … and this brings me back to you and I, with our sticky notes and stash of candles and gift cards to ensure no one goes unappreciated this season. Christmas and New Year’s seem to invite all my striving efforts toward tending relationships and creating experiences. These are beautiful, God-given gifts I’m made to share with the world, but the holidays can take my generosity and twist it into something strange, something white-knuckled and short-sighted.
On this first weekend in December, I’m reminding myself that it doesn’t all come down to me—planning the perfect holiday, the perfect gathering, the perfect year. I’ll get a few things right and learn a few things the hard way. Some beautiful moments will be orchestrated ahead of time, and others will surprise me. I’m allowed to take one day at a time, to indulge in my own need for comfort and nostalgia in this season, trusting that magic and whimsy will find my children in the right moments, having faith that my relationships can withstand the natural expansion and contraction that the season requires.
My prayer for you is that you’ll savor your coffee while it’s hot, become captivated by the lights on the tree, feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude for what is right in front of you and hope in what’s to come. I pray this coming year will surprise you in ways that bring you healing and strength and perspective, and that you’ll remember to be gentle with yourself along the way.
XO,
Adrienne
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ICYMI: C+C Podcast
Hospitality with a twist! In this episode, Ashlee raves about a good ol’ fashioned book club (surprise, surprise), show-and-tell parties, and gives more gold stars and hearts for Galentine’s Day, while Katie loves commemorating the change of seasons—think fall soup competitions and end-of-summer backyard movies—and also makes a point to honor special dates like friendaverseries in unique-to-you ways. And hey, if you only take one thing from this episode, let it be this: any party where you can wear pajamas is a good party.
Speaking of the podcast …
Our first narrative podcast series, Making a Mother, is finally releasing in January! Cue the butterflies. This project is so, so close to our hearts, and we can’t wait to share it with you. Our trailer drops 12/19, but paid subscribers can listen now. Thank you, as always, for supporting us in making slow art. ❤️
C+C Faves
Calling all creatives! Exhale enrollment re-opens January 1-15. Come for the resources, and stay for the community ❤️.
“I want to rush ahead to the lifelong phase of friendship, the part where we’ll watch each others’ kids and go on vacations and have dinner together at the last minute, even when the house is a mess and leftovers are the only thing to eat. I know those kinds of relationships can’t happen with everyone, and they rarely happen overnight.” // The Beginning of Belonging by Sarah Hauser
Need a hostess gift for your next holiday party? Consider these candy cane candles.
We’re adding these family favorites to our regular soup rotation: Whole30 Zuppa Toscana and Italian Sausage and Tortellini Soup.
“Maybe the act of taking baked goods to my neighbors wasn’t just to practice being gracious toward them but also a chance to discover they could be gracious to me.” // A Bowl of Tomatoes by
ICYMI, we’ve got you covered for holiday hot takes and gift guides 😉
“Because this story, the bigger one of raising a child with a disability as a single mom, is one God has to continue to give me the courage to live in every day. And when I see others loving Cannon, it’s the evidence that God is doing exactly that.” // The Waterslide by
Customized dog socks, Pip Pop Post earrings, and craft kits make for cute stocking stuffers (more ideas here).
Books on our (collective) nightstands: LifeStyled, The Opt-Out Family, Habits of the Household, The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry, All the Colors of the Dark, and I’ve Think We’ve Been Here Before.
“I am different here, even though nothing ever goes quite according to plan. Like Wendy, that darling girl and her longing for mermaids, the adventure is never what I imagined in my head. But it is still wonderful—better sometimes.” // Wendy, Darling by
For kids who don’t need more stuff, consider these experience gifts: Harlem Globetrotters, Dude Perfect on tour, and Forrest Frank in concert.
“I want to live a quiet, full life and to put in the work. To excel in what God has called me to do. To invest in things that matter, that will last long after I pass away from this earth. To steward well and multiply what God has entrusted to me. To build an enduring legacy brick by brick, alongside my husband and our boys.” // The Lie We Keep Buying by
May your holiday wardrobe be filled with lace, sequins, velvet, sparkles, and bows.
Don’t forget to protect your Christmas sweaters from your holiday cooking!
“I am looking for artworks that remind me of the possibilities found in tension, that evoke the seeming impossibility and unquestionable necessity of making the next dinner, writing the next paragraph, taking out the next bag of trash, or showing up at the next meeting while so much around me feels elusive and uncertain.” // The Artworks in My Head by
Spoiler alert: you don’t have to do it all.
“I’ll miss my kids’ arms around my neck, my soft bed with Levi’s warm body curled around mine, and the structure and purpose of my days at home. My legs will be tired, and my back will be sore, but my heart will be full, the guilt I left home with long replaced by the joy of coming back to myself.” // Why Do You Have to Go? by
A simple (and free!) pleasure: contemplative color walking.
Pretend the elves made breakfast with Sarah’s chocolate peppermint scones.
Know someone who would love Coffee + Crumbs? Feel free to share our work with a friend (you can even earn free months in the process)! ❤️