The Best Day
By Callie Feyen | July 2023 Newsletter
This is a story about the time Hadley almost went to the Taylor Swift concert, but didn’t.
First though, I’d like to tell about a course called, “APUSH,” which stands for Advanced Placement United States History. It is, so far, the most rigorous and engaging class Hadley has ever taken. Every single weeknight, and many weekend nights too, Hadley worked on KSOs, annotations of the history readings from her textbook, its thickness reminiscent of the step stool Hadley and Harper used so they could wash their hands at the bathroom sink.
Easter weekend we made a trip to Raleigh, North Carolina to visit my parents, my brother and sister-in-law, and their children, which meant taking the girls out of school for a couple of days. That Thursday, Hadley got in the car and told us that she was missing an assignment because we’d be driving home on Monday. She said she asked the teacher if she could make it up, and her teacher said no because it was something that needed to take place in class. (I suppose that sounds harsh, but I have nothing but respect and admiration for this teacher and her testament that what goes on inside the classroom is sacred. She is the kind of teacher I wanted to be.)
“So my friends are gonna FaceTime me while we drive home,” Hadley told us. “I can participate that way.”
This seemed like the best we could do, and we made our way from Ann Arbor to Raleigh. However, as the weekend wore on, Hadley grew more anxious: What if her group forgets to call her? What if her teacher won’t allow this? Wi-Fi isn’t the greatest at times on our trip—what if she loses connection?
We decided to drive home Easter Sunday after dinner. We’d drive through the night, get home around five in the morning, Hadley could sleep for a few hours and head into school so she could be a part of this project.
Hadley would not, under any circumstances, say that doing the work that APUSH demands is as fun or invigorating as listening to Taylor Swift sing about metaphorical red scarves, living in a big ol’ city, and squeezing someone’s hand three times in the back seat of a taxi. I’m not sure anyone would. Which is why, as Swift made her way to Detroit, and Hadley’s sophomore year along with all its requirements and demands came to a close, Hadley turned all her bright-eyed attention to trying to get tickets to hear Swift sing at Ford Field.
And on the last day of school, Hadley came busting through the front door proclaiming she’d scored tickets, and that if it’s OK with us, she could go.
You already know the outcome, so I won’t go into the anti-climatic details. Here though, is where another story—one that I think is made of the same stuff that Taylor Swift finds her material for songs from—begins.
It was one of those perfect summer evenings in Michigan when the sins of its pathetic attempt at spring are forgiven and all you want to do is be outside and watch the sky tease its way into black. Hadley left to get ice cream with her best friend, and Jesse and I, equally winded and grateful to walk with Hadley in these heartbreak moments, stepped outside. And what was it that we talked about? Was it our own palpable disappointments of missed concerts and other growing up moments when reality and fantasy clash? Did we talk about work? Did we make a grocery list? Probably it was all of it. I do not remember. I remember the phone ringing and it was Hadley—joyful but demanding to be put on speaker.
“She got tickets. She’s on the way to Detroit,” I said to Jesse. “I bet that’s it.”
“GUESS WHAT!” Hadley screamed at us.
“What?” we asked. I said it enthusiastically. Jesse opened up his wallet.
“I GOT AN A- ON MY APUSH FINAL!”
Do you believe me when I tell you that she said this in the same tone she’d use had she actually been going to hear Taylor Swift sing?
“THIS MEANS I GOT AN A IN THE CLASS!” Hadley all-caps exclaimed.
A few hours later, Hadley came home, smiling and bright-eyed again, and sat next to me with the content sigh of a teenager that had been through something and was all the wiser for it.
“You wanna know what happened?” she asked me, and I thought she was going to tell me the details about finding out about her test but instead, she told me what happened when she pulled up to her friend’s house.
Her parents rushed outside to greet Hadley. “We’ve been there! We’ve all been there!” they told her and shared stories of their almost concerts.
“And dad told me about U2,” she said.
“Yup,” I said laughing at the memory. “I think that might’ve been as heartbreaking for him as Taylor Swift is for you.”
Hadley leaned into me and put her head on my shoulder. “I’m good,” she told me. “I’m OK.”
“I’m glad,” I said, grateful for friends who understand the necessity for emergency ice-cream at times like these, for parents who willingly share their stories of disappointment and show Hadley the charm in a story well-told no matter the outcome, for teachers who give Hadley the opportunity to learn, to grapple, and to try, and in so doing deepen her love and curiosity for this world and its people.
And I am grateful for the not yets, the couldn’t make its, the missed out ons, because like that scarf we know all too well, those stories are worth telling, too.
Take summer s’mores to the next level with inspiration from Sarah’s s’mores board.
C+C Faves
“It’s possible you’ll decide to put all your creative projects on hold for the summer. That’s ok, too. You’re still a writer. You’re still a dancer. You’re still a maker.” // A Summer Guide for Creative Mothers by
Books on our (collective) nightstands: The Body Revelation, A Living Remedy, Same Time Next Summer, Thank You for Listening, The Sweet Spot, Range, and our Exhale book club pick, Happy Place.
If your littles are forever losing swim goggles (just us?), these ones are under $20 and come instructor recommended. Also swim-related: manage the whole summer towel overflow with this expandable drying rack.
Summer = alllll the salads. A few of our faves: rosemary chicken, caramelized corn, and peach salad; quinoa tabbouleh; creamy chicken, apple, and grape salad; cevice; strawberry arugula quinoa salad; chopped Thai-inspired broccoli salad; and blueberry and kale grain salad.
“Who would ever think that we’d never go away as a family ever again, or that the sweater I wanted so badly, then kept in my closet for the next twenty years, would be the last Christmas gift my mother ever gave me?” // What I Can’t Give You by
Use these aesthetically pleasing fridge magnets to bring some routine into summer schedules (if you’re so inclined).
“We don’t always understand each other the first–or tenth–time around. Sometimes it takes a lot of questions, a lot of prompting, and often, a real slow jaunt past the outcome you both want. It’s there though–the connection. But if you move too fast, you miss it.” // Grouchland by
Vacation tips: an origami kit and this compact brain teaser puzzle game make for easy-to-pack airport activities. For the tinies, this backpack does double duty as a busy board (and your toddler can carry their own snacks!). And don’t forget about the plants!
Let Fun Mom Summer™ commence with this giant inflatable rocker bouncer and throwable paintballs (like water balloons, but better!—no clean-up, and each kid gets a color).
“‘What if? What if? What if?’ These two syllables will course through my veins like the rhythm of my heart, faster as more nightmarish possibilities pulse through my mind. But maybe as I remember that cerulean water, an arrhythmia will break in, and I’ll find the words are true: ‘You are there.’” // I’ve Glimpsed One of the Monsters by
Go for grandma chic with a pretty slip for sheer dresses and strappy heels that are actually comfortable.
For middle grade kids learning to study the Bible on their own, check out this study.
“How much strength had I lost? What if I couldn’t do anything? When the teacher said to flow, I moved into plank, took a deep breath, and dropped down into my first chaturanga in a year. As I pushed into upward-facing dog, I grinned. My modifications had kept me strong. I’d lost some strength, but I hadn’t lost it all. Some is better than none. Some is good enough.” // Modifications by Melanie Dale
A simple pleasure: cooler-friendly canned beverages like this spritz and this soda alternative.
Podcast Recs
From friendship gestures to body confidence to learning how to rest, our latest episode is all about the little things that are actually big things. Paid subscribers can also find a bonus episode on Substack: Summer MVPs.
In this episode of the “Doctor Mom" podcast, Amanda Montalvo, a women’s health dietitian, shares how to test and replete mineral imbalances to optimize your health in the pregnancy and postpartum years.
The On Purpose Parents podcast offers parenting strategies for all grade levels (including college!).
Upcoming Workshops:
Writing Motherhood: The Braided Essay with Adrienne Garrison // July 16
Writing Motherhood: Presence Over Perfection with Adrienne Garrison // August 13
Portfolio Review with Callie Feyen // Ongoing
100 Writing Pep Talks Volume I and Volume II with Callie Feyen // Download
From First Draft to Final: An Essay Video Revision Series with Molly Flinkman // Download
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Loved this, Callie! Having a daughter about the same age, I felt a little ache in my heart because I know how much these concerts mean to them, but also the gratitude as they learn that’s really not everything and celebrating whatever their “best days” mean.
Thanks also for the shoutout on my Fathom essay! It really means a lot!